In the art of transparency, I would like to tell you about how the Lord punched me in the face the other night (and for those of you wondering, no, not literally). Every Tuesday I go to Port City Community Church (PC3) to attend Overflow, which is their college ministry. I went expecting to sit in my comfortable seat, surrounded by my friends that I'm comfortable with, to listen to a message that was comfortable to hear. However, this wasn't God's plan.
I got there and, yes I did sit in my comfortable seat, surrounded by my "comfortable" friends, albeit we were squeezing about twenty people into a six person row (I kid: more like seven or eight). Anyway, after worship, which is always AMAZING, a new Pastor came onto the stage to deliver the message. It turns out he was the pastor of PC3 at Leland, and he had a great message in store for me.
The new series was on friendships, something that if I'm being honest, I've struggled with. The Lord has blessed me with two of the very best friends a girl could ever ask for: loyal , kind, compassionate, and all together fun to be around. And yet we still have sin in our relationship and we've still made a ton of mistakes that have hurt one another. One of the things that they continually got on me about was that I acted like I didn't care, which was very far from the truth...
I actually cared a great deal. I simply found it hard to express how much I cared. Actually, I found it hard to express myself in every way. I didn't want to let them know my innermost feelings or thoughts. If I did that, I would be completely vulnerable to them, a feeling I did not like. Of course, I always wanted them to confide in me and let me help them, but I wouldn't reciprocate. I suppose I do push people away, even those I'm closest to, as a defense mechanism. If I don't let anyone come too close, then they won't be able to hurt me.
The other night though, I got called out on this thinking. One of the verses the Pastor used was John 15: 15, which says,"I do not call you slaves anymore, because a slave doesn’t know what his master is doing. I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything I have heard from My Father." He basically told me that in order to be a good, Godly friend, I had to let my friends know me fully and completely. I had to let them be my confidants, so they could hold me accountable for my sin, encourage me in Christ, and know me on an intimate level.
After leaving Overflow, this message was on my mind all night. I knew I needed to change my friendships, and I've decided to start now! I'm not saying this "being known" thing is going to be easy, but with Christ's help, I am going to become the friend I was called to be, the friend He has called me to be.
Your friend,
Lindsey
